Parenting is a full‑on role and if you’re living with arthritis, it can feel overwhelming at times. Your joints might not cooperate, and fatigue may set limits, but you can still nurture deep connection and belonging with your tamariki. These strategies for parenting with arthritis help you care for your whānau while protecting your own wellbeing.
Look after yourself first
When your own wellbeing is nurtured, you’re better able to care for your tamariki. Rest, move safely, take medication, or reach out for support when you need it. That isn’t selfish, it’s strength. Honouring your own needs models self‑care for your children and helps to sustain your energy over time.
Say yes to help
Let people lighten your load. Whether it’s friends helping with cooking or school pickup, or teachers being aware of your arthritis. Receiving and asking for help is perfectly fine and reasonable. When you accept support, you’re building a network that uplifts your mana and models resilience to your tamariki.
Do less
You might not run, climb, or lift as you once did, and that’s perfectly fine. What matters most isn’t the amount of energy you spend, it’s the time you spend with intention. Crafts, talking, board games, or gentle walks can build deep bonds as much as other activities. Choose what feels right for you and your whānau.
Keep it simple
Creating little strategies ahead of time helps on the days when your arthritis gets the best of you. Simple adaptations, such as buying clothes that are easier to put on your child (e.g. zips instead of buttons), toy boxes for easy tidying, easy-to-make meals, and keeping a simple bed and bath routine, can all make a big difference to the energy you use each day.
Be flexible
Your arthritis is unpredictable. Some weeks feel stronger, some weaker. Give yourself permission to adapt how you parent as your body and your tamariki grow. That shift doesn’t mean giving up, it means evolving in the right way for your whānau.
Accept your feelings
Feeling guilty when your body won’t keep up is very common. You might worry about passing your condition on to your tamariki, or feel bad about missing out on precious moments. Learning more about your condition and asking your health team questions can help ease that worry. Openly talking through these concerns supports your emotional wellbeing, and it shows your children how to confront hard feelings with strength.
Be positive and kind
When you approach parenting with hope and kindness, your children sense the love and security. If arthritis feels overwhelming, your tamariki may feel it too. Try to focus on connection, and be present when you can. It's not about perfection, it’s about being there, with warmth and courage.
What’s in it for your whānau?
- Resilience and empathy: you show your children how to navigate hard days
- Healthy habits across the generations: gentle movement, modelling self‑care, and balancing rest with activity can shape lifelong habits for your children
- Deeper connection: slowing and simplifying can often nurture deeper connection than always being busy
You’re enough
You are enough just as you are. You may not parent the way you originally imagined, but your love, presence, and courage matter deeply. You are supporting your whānau, nurturing your wellbeing, and living with integrity. Your parenting with arthritis is not less - it is enough.
Learn more about parenting with arthritis from the Arthritis Foundation
